Today’s kids are traumatized by smaller setbacks.

Today’s parents are in a unique position. We were raised by parents who didn’t care if we liked them and were harsh, even abusive, to us. We are gentler with our kids, but we are flawed and our faults hurt our children as deeply as we were hurt, even though the behavior isn’t comparable.

I f*cked up. More than once. Despite how hard I tried not to, I did. And my kids got hurt because I’m flawed. I lost my patience. I yelled. As a single mom, I didn’t have the backup support of a partner; but the partner I used to have wouldn’t have been supportive anyway. Self-care was a laughable fantasy. I’d been running on fumes for too long and feeling terrible from autoimmune flareups. I snapped. My outburst was nowhere near as harsh as my mother’s would have been. There was no hitting or throwing things. But still, my child was hurt. I knew better than to compare it to my childhood, but still.

I am responsible for the things I say in anger. I’m accountable for my flaws. No one is perfect and sometimes exhaustion prevails over calm logic.

I’m deeply sorry for ever causing my children pain. I never intended that. There are no handbooks for the new rules. Try as I might to never hurt my children’s feelings, I’ve failed over and over again. I’ve apologized and changed my behavior. Teen rules seem to shift and I’m always behind. No matter what I do, it’s embarrassing to have a mom. It’s embarrassing to not have a mom. It’s embarrassing to be a teenager. You are not alone in navigating this mysterious world. I haven’t got a clue how to get through it, but I’m here to listen. ❤️❤️❤️ Jill