Stay at home moms are not your free daycare
Stayed home and work at home parents are not drop in daycare for those who work outside the home. Being home with kids as a personal choice full of Responsibilities, and loss of traction on the career track. It is an economic decision as well as a personal decision. It is in no way and opportunity for others to freeload.
When I was a stay at home mom, many people dropped their kids off at my house for playdates because, “you are home anyway.” I found that obnoxious and disrespectful. I had many friends who I had an open door policy with. They could bring their kids over anytime because mine were always welcome at their home. I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who take advantage and feel like your choice to be an at home mom means free daycare for them.
One of my neighbors constantly sent her five-year-old son over to play with my 11-year-old. The neighbor wanted time to work or time alone with her one-year-old. Her five year old was energetic and I would find games for him to play. I basically babysat him for free. Sometimes we didn’t answer our doorbell because she sent him over alone. I thought if no one was home, he would go home. But I was wrong. He walked around to the back of our house, peered through the sliding glass doors and saw us eating in the kitchen. It was creepy AF and I let him in. I contacted the mom and she said she was taking a nap with her baby. He made cookies with my 11-year-old. I didn’t intend to bake that day. I would have liked a nap. He would stay for hours. I should’ve given the parents a bill. They knew I was autoimmune, but didn’t seem to care. Sometimes I drew the curtains so the child couldn’t peer into the window. He’d still pound on the door. Sometimes the parents gathered up their son, but more often than not, they wanted free babysitting.
Another neighbor’s 7 year old child and my daughter signed up for dance lessons class once a week for the entire school year. The other child’s parents worked and couldn’t drive, so the kid came to my house every Thursday for a year. I fed her a snack and she hung out at my house for three hours before I drove her and my daughter to dance. In the beginning, the girls had a great time and it was a wonderful play date. But after two months the girls got sick of each other. They fought. And I still had to take this girl because I promised. Looking back, I should’ve told the parents they needed to find care for their child. I was an anxious people pleaser and said nothing even though I was exhausted from that child.