A letter to my younger self

The kids are going to turn out better than fine. They’re going to be great. It’s good for you to have interests outside of them. Once I separated from their dad, I was never kid-free. He didn’t take all three at once and I wanted to ensure their lives were perfect and not negatively affected by divorce.

I overcompensatated. I had a long, arduous marriage and a contentious divorce spanning over a decade. There were no winners. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently. I would have made time for myself. But instead, my anxiety soared and I spiraled into overdrive for the kids. I was a shell of the person I used to be and didn’t know how to begin to reclaim my life. I only knew how to chauffeur, help with homework, and host playdates, all while battling several autoimmune diseases. My health was deteriorating.

When my two older kids were in college and only my youngest was left at home, I began traveling on the days she was with her dad. Sometimes I just went to a friend’s house to sleep, but absent an emergency, I was off duty. It was the beginning of me reclaiming scraps of myself which I never should have lost.

Your kids will thrive when you’re happy. Date your partner, go out or stay in with your friends, Even if you have no money or time, it’s okay to say “no” to your kids sometimes and take a breather. Your kids will be amazing. I promise.